Feel the Fear…and do it Anyway by Susan Jeffers, Ph. D.

“Dynamic techniques for turning fear, indecision, and anger into power, action, and love.”

It’s important to know that fear is a fact of life. It’s a feeling we all experience, and is not just a barrier that you alone experience. This book dives deep into the psychology behind fear, and also proposes exercises that help eliminate the feeling with practice. The author breaks down and describes the different levels of fear so we’re able to determine the real, most effective solutions. One effective exercise is to constantly remind yourself that you can handle anything that comes your way. If you get this message into your subconscious, that you’re able to field any problem, what will there be to fear?

Fear truths:

#1: The fear will never go away as long as I continue to grow. This is probably not what you wanted to read. Fear never goes away, as we all experience it. However, it’s probably more comforting to hear that as you build confidence in yourself with truth #2, your relationship with fear will dramatically alter.

#2: The only way to get rid of the fear of doing something is to get out and do it. This sounds contradictory to truth #1, but it’s not. Fear of particular situations dissolves when you confront those situations. The “doing it” comes before the fear goes away.  What really helps is the sense of accomplishment you feel from pushing through and achieving something despite the fear and hesitation you feel.

#3: Not only am I experiencing this, but so is everyone else. Realize that if you’re feeling defeated or inadequate, you’re not alone. We have each other to keep company and that should keep us from beating up on ourselves or feeling abnormal.

#4: Pushing through fear is less frightening than living with the underlying fear that comes from a feeling of helplessness. People who refuse to take risks live in a far worse place mentally when they realize they regret the things they didn’t do, than if they were to overcome what they were afraid of.

For some people, fear creates a state of paralysis (pain). Others hold fear from a position of power. The secret then to handling fear is to move yourself from a position of pain, to a position of power. The fact that you have the fear then becomes irrelevant. It’s a powerful practice to call yourself powerful; repeating multiple times daily “I am powerful and I am loved. I am powerful and I am loving. I am powerful and I love it.”

Create a “pain to power chart” (see below)

Pain–>–>–>–>–>–>–>–>–>–>–>–>–>–>–>–>–Power

Place the above diagram on your wall. Each day look at the timeline and honestly ask yourself if you took steps to move you closer to power, and move a thumbtack accordingly on the diagram. If you keep this in mind throughout your day, you’ll become more conscious of making powerful-type choices. You’ll ask yourself, “am I moving in a powerful and position direction?”

Pain to power vocabulary:

I can’t——->I won’t

It’s not my fault ——> I’m fully responsible

It’s a problem ——> It’s an opportunity

I’m never satisfied ——–> I want to learn and grow

Life’s a struggle —–> Life’s an adventure

I hope —–> I know

If only ——->It will

What am I supposed to do? ——–> I know I can handle it

It’s terrible ——>It’s a learning experience

Begin eliminating the negative word choices from your vocabulary and that’s half the battle. The more powerfully you speak, the more confident you’ll become and you’ll be treated differently as well.

Take risks:

Image result for original zone of comfort

Each night before you go to bed, plan the risk (big or small) you’re going to take the next day. Practice doing it in your mind. This exercise will allow you to do things easier in real life without hesitation. Once you expand your comfort zone, the more powerful you become. Also, once you’re in touch with your powerful self, you begin to view fear in a very different way, and your self-worth sky rockets.

I recommend this book to everyone. The author goes on to discuss how to eliminate the useless chatter happening in our minds, how to think more positively, and the importance of who we surround ourselves with…etc

I hope this has been of benefit to you- and remember these things take practice to master, but we’re all capable of re-programming our minds and behaviors to get the most out of life. Thanks for reading and I hope you choose to read the real deal!

-Laura

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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